To Be or Not to Be Mistaken
by Jensen Jones
Summary: Commander Chakotay warns Paris of a parallel universe in which the pilot takes his own life.


Chakotay had his report in his hand ready to give to the Captain and Tuvok, but first he wanted to see Lt. Paris. He scanned the mess hall for Tom's blond head, and found him sitting by the wall with Harry and B'Elanna who appeared to be just leaving. This was his opportunity for a quick word. He took a deep breath, surprised by his own anxious feelings, and walked over.

"Paris," he caught the pilot's attention, "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks Chakotay," Tom seemed mildly surprised by the inquiry, "Thanks, for asking. Did you want me for something?"

Chakotay nodded. "I need to have a word."

Tom frowned. "What's this about Chakotay? Is it the shift changes? I've covered it, okay? It should be fine. I send you the changes."

"No. It's… something else."

"Okay," Tom drawled wondering what the Commander was going to surprise him with. He seemed in a serious mood. Then again, when wasn't he? "Hey Harry, B'Elanna, I'll meet you in engineering okay?" he waved as they left.

Chakotay watched them go, then turned back to Tom who was waiting expectantly. Chakotay looked around. This side of the mess hall was empty now. "Let's sit down," he pulled up a chair, and motioned for Tom to do the same.

Tom sat down, "Okay what's this about Chakotay? I honestly have no idea."

"I would hope not." Chakotay paused, and Tom grew impatient, but waited for the Commander to continue. "It's about my recent trip through that temporal anomaly." Chakotay began. "I entered what seemed to be a parallel universe. It was almost identical to this universe, but there were some differences. I haven't elaborated on them in my report. Most of them were minor. For example Neelix served us Leola Root _pie_ instead of stew. Some of the crew even liked it."

"You call that a minor difference? You'd have to alter the laws of physics to make that stuff palatable!"

"Seriously Paris, there was one thing in particular, something happened that…"

"Involved me?" Tom guessed.

"Yes," Chakotay confirmed in a serious tone.

"Look Chakotay, it was a parallel universe! Of course there are going to be differences. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, so whatever happened, whatever I did, it doesn't mean…"

"Tom, you died."

"What?"

Chakotay explained further. "In the parallel universe I was stuck in the anomaly for almost a month. When I returned to Voyager, on Star date 4059, the crew were attending your funeral." Chakotay passed his hand over his forehead. "It was awful."

"I'm touched that it upset you so much Chakotay." Tom said, honestly. "But I don't see why you need to tell me this. It probably won't happen in this reality. I mean, we all risk our lives on occasion. As Star Fleet officers, it's part of the job, and especially out here in the Delta quadrant we all face risks almost everyday. We all accept that. I mean unless it was something that you think can be prevented in this reality…"

"Exactly. I hope so, Paris. That's why I need to talk to you."

"Okay, then." Tom took a deep breath, to prepare himself for the news. "So, in this parallel universe, how'd I die?"

There was no easy way for Chakotay to say it, especially with Tom's blue eyes on him, waiting expectantly. He hoped he was doing the right thing by telling him. "Tom, you took your own life."

Unexpectedly Tom's face broke into a smile and he laughed, shaking his head with amusement. "Oh I get it. So you thought you'd just drop by at lunch and check that I wasn't, like, suicidal? Is that it?"

"Tom, be serious." Chakotay was annoyed by the pilot's response, but also relieved. Maybe Tom was right. It had been another universe after all. Even though it had all seemed so real, and so similar to this one.

"Okay, look Chakotay," Tom's blue eyes gazed directly into Chakotay's, serious now. As much as Tom's casual and cocky humour annoyed the Commander, he was equally unnerved by Tom's occasional dead seriousness. "I understand you were upset by this, but I can assure you that it's not going to happen, okay? I would _never_ do something like that. _This_ Tom Paris in _this_ reality would never do something like that. Regardless of whether we had this little chat or not. Come on Chakotay, you have to remember that there's a parallel universe for every possible possibility out there. Hell, there'd be a reality where _you_ commit suicide, where any given person commits suicide. In fact there'd be more than one. There'd be dozens! I mean think of all the different ways! There'd be one where I jump out an airlock, one where I deliberately fly a shuttle into a planet full speed, one where I just fire a phaser into my head…"

"Oh God Tom! Stop!" Chakotay seemed distressed, as Tom's seriousness fell away.

"What is it?" Tom asked.

"That's the one. That's what you did."

"A phaser? I wasn't very imaginative!"

"Paris, please!" He wasn't finding this nearly as amusing as Paris seemed to want him to.

"I'm sorry Chakotay. I just want you to know that this is ridiculous okay? It's not going to happen. No _way_. But, to put your mind at rest, I'll put it in my diary, here," Tom took out a PADD and made a note. "What was the Star Date again?"

"4059," Chakotay said.

"Star Date 4059," Tom read out, "Note to self: Do not fire phaser at head and commit suicide. Okay?"

At last Tom got a small chuckle out of Chakotay. "That does sound ridiculous," he admitted.

"Absolutely," Tom promised.

"Thank you Tom," Chakotay stood up, "I'll give my report to Tuvok and Janeway now. This whole thing's not really worth mentioning I'm sure. You don't know how his issue has been weighing on my mind, though. I feel much better now. I'll let you go Mr Paris. See you next shift on the bridge."

The pilot nodded, and left the mess hall. Chakotay watched his familiar lanky gait, and the way he tapped the PADD impatiently as he rushed to meet with Harry and B'Elanna in engineering. There was no way Chakotay could imagine this cheerful young man taking his life a month from now. He let his worries go. He put the thought out of his head and completely forgot about it, until Stardate 4059.


End file.
